Lost in a Tongue Twister

My kids are my life.

I challenge you to say that 20 times, as fast as you can. 

That. That is how to describe life as a mom in a nutshell in the modern day. 

Being so caught up in the repetitive, robotic motions of cooking, cleaning, feeding, running errands, bathing, and everything else you can possibly do for your kids until the "kid" eventually becomes lost in the blur. 

But today when I was sick in bed, everything changed and not just the cliche of sick mom life- world stops, house a mess, children covered from head to toe in Nutella (this totally didn't happen) but it was like I was in another dimension able to see things I never saw before.

While the basket of laundry awaited and my life was on pause, only then was I able to see. Hidden under the many layers of responsibilities I was able to see two beautiful children whose faces lit up as they told me about how they held their breath in the swimming pool, whose eyes were constantly searching for my approval and excitement in reply to their stories.

I was able to admire two little humans who responded so quickly to my every nonverbal gesture of discomfort, and whispered to each other solutions of how to help Mama feel better. In this frozen time I was able to feel my daughter's tiny little hands cupping my face and my son's round nose nuzzling against my cheek.

Every wrinkle of their of their faces scrunched from laughter was so much more visible and every giggle from their throats seemed so much more melodious. 

Was this a psychological side effect of being ill? Was this a biological response of decreased oxygen to my brain? Why had I missed all of these little blessings before? 

Life is like a run on sentence. Often times, we forget what an impact a small punctuation can make. How a comma or period can turn a thought into a statement. How just a breath can make the next sentence so much more meaningful. 

And more often than not, we forget how slowing down can put the "kids" back in-

My kids are my life.

Kazima Wajahat